


Shock and Awe

by MaxDark158



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Neglect, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Dissociation, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Hurt Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, I Made Myself Cry, Identity Reveal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POV Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, POV Third Person, Panic Attacks, Plagg Cares (Miraculous Ladybug), Protective Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23390473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxDark158/pseuds/MaxDark158
Summary: You’re a hero!To the kid, to Paris, he was a hero.He didn’t feel like one right now.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste's Bodyguard, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 6
Kudos: 333
Collections: THEME:  Hero





	Shock and Awe

**Author's Note:**

> This is written with the assumption that season three and parts of season two do not exist.

_You’re a hero!_

He could remember the first time someone said that. Sure, people on the news called them superheroes and they referred to themselves as the heroes of Paris. Their kwami called them heroes, the class talked about the heroes that saved them, they called the others they recruited heroes... It didn’t matter though, because at the end of it, being a ‘hero’ never really clicked.

It didn’t until he met a young boy, one who was awestruck to see him out late at night. He was just escaping his home, the walls too close and he wanted to breathe he couldn’t breathe why couldn’t he breathe please let him breathe he needed to breathe-

“Cat Noir!”

Shock and awe. The voice he heard, small and childish, shocked and awed. He looked down to see a little boy staring at him from his family’s balcony, clutching a little Cat Noir plush to his chest.

Oh, that was just too cute.

He grinned and sat on the edge of the roof, “Hey there kid!” It was easy to slip into a persona. Easy to play the part people wanted.

The boy bounced in place and began to giggle and he couldn’t help but think of his own childish energy at that age. Perhaps he’d be the same if he were a child now, bouncing in place and giggling about superheroes, watching them on the news and asking for superhero toys…

“You’re a hero,” the kid was excited and happy and just now he saw that he wore Ladybug and Cat Noir pajamas _he’s so adorable_ , “You’re a hero! There’s a hero at my house!”

He knew he was a hero for a while before then. Everyone called him such, they called him and his friend heroes every day. But it sunk in at that moment, how much people believe in them, to the point where little kids were happy to see him. He… had a responsibility to these people, to all the little kids looking up to him.

He remembered getting off the roof and crouching down in front of the kid, smiling and making him laugh a bit before giving him some advice. _Being a hero isn’t wearing a costume, it’s in your actions, so you can be a hero too._ He got it off some anime or tv show but he liked it and used it, and the kid’s eyes lit up. He promised he’d be a hero someday too.

_You’re a hero!_

To the kid, to Paris, he was a hero.

He didn’t feel like one right now.

He stood in the lair next to Ladybug, his partner, and their team. Two years of battling Hawkmoth, a little over one of battling Mayura. Both their miraculouses were in his friend’s hand, their enemies’ transformations having dropped. They were shocked and they were awed, but not for good reasons.

Gabriel Agreste and Nathalie Sancoeur.

He wanted to scream and cry. He wanted to ask if his father knew who he was, wanted to ask if he knew how many times he injured his only son, how many times he went home and cried from the pain he couldn’t feel anymore while Plagg licked the tears off his face and tried to purr to comfort him, cried because he couldn’t while battling for his life and others’ lives, cried until he couldn’t breathe. He can’t breathe. Did he lock him up to stop him from being Cat Noir, to stop him from saving Paris to try and ensure that without him, ladybug would lose? Did Nathalie ever care about him, or was she _pretending_ , how long had she been pretending? He can’t breathe.

Why? He- he wanted to know _why_.

But he didn’t ask. He can’t breathe.

Ladybug said something about them being defeated, their impending punishment for two years of terrorism over Paris. She was congratulating him, their team… He wasn’t processing a single word. He knew she was talking and could hear the sound of her talking and he could see her lips moving but- _He can’t breathe_.

Why why why why whywhywhywhy-

His lips were pressed tightly together. Maybe in another universe, he’d shake them, scream and cry and demand answers. Maybe his friends, his partner, would have to hold him back. Maybe in another universe, he’d get his answers, maybe he wouldn’t.

_You’re a hero!_

He can’t breathe.

In this universe, he knew Ladybug was trying to get his attention. _Kitty, is something wrong?_ He knew she said that even if he didn’t remember hearing the words.

He left out the broken butterfly window. He was out of the house, he wasn’t trapped, and he was running, running as far and as fast as his legs could take him. He couldn’t breathe, but breathing wasn’t important. He had to get out he needed to get out if he didn’t get out something would happen he couldn’t breathe he needed to be free-

He stopped in an alleyway and he forced his lungs to take in air.

It was good enough for now.

* * *

He didn’t remember the trip back to the house. He knows he talked to Plagg, and that the kwami helped in some way, comforted… he doesn’t remember any details though. He knows he didn’t cry, and he knows Plagg purred… Plagg was still purring, in his shirt, softly so he could only feel it. So no one else would know.

He was not shocked and he was not awed when the first thing he saw turning onto the block was a group of reporters. He was still forcing his lungs to breathe robotically, knowing the motion even if it felt wrong. One noticed him and they began trying to run over but a flash of red landed in front of him. Almost like a shield…

“Excuse me, you are not appreciated at the moment, please refrain from attacking a literal child for the actions of his father.”

That was a funny way of putting it. _Father_.

Ladybug kept the reporters off of him. He didn’t look up at them, refused to answer any questions. She led him into the house where police were. He didn’t see his father or Nathalie anywhere.

“Adrien… are you aware…”

He nodded. “I-I just found out.”

Ladybug nodded. She looked… so sorry. Gave him a quick hug that he didn’t have time to return before letting a cop approach. He remembered when he’d savor every hug, thinking he was hopelessly in love with her… He did love her, in a way, but he wasn’t rushing to define that as of late. Was happy to have her as a friend…

Though, now, all of that seemed insignificant. Did anything matter anymore?

He didn’t know.

He didn’t remember much about the cops talking to him either.

Everything was numb. He could barely breathe. They asked him if he was okay, maybe, and he always had them keep going. Being okay didn’t mean anything anyway. He forced his lungs to take in more air.

_Adrien Agreste, do you have any other remaining family members?_

No.

He had no one left.

_You’re a hero!_

Is he? As far as he knows he’s a kid who has no one that cares about him. No one that wanted him. He’s half-starved and overworked and in pain and he’s alone. He’s always been alone.

He’s just a kid.

He shouldn’t have ever needed to be a hero. Sure, he learned to treat it responsibly eventually, but he shouldn’t have had to… Why did he have to?

Why why why why whywhywhywhy-

_You’re a hero!_

No. He’s a kid.

“Monsieur Agreste?”

Why can’t he just be a kid?

“Monsieur- you can’t just burst in-“

His senses were slightly enhanced because of the long-term use of his miraculous, so he immediately recognized the familiar and calming scent.

Adrien looked up to see the gorilla- his bodyguard.

The policeman interviewing him- not red-haired, not Sabrina’s dad, he didn’t know who he was- stood. “We’ll give you a moment.” The other policemen protested but were shooed out of the room. He’s just a kid, we need to let him calm down and process what’s going on. His dad was just arrested-“

The door closed.

One moment, he was staring at someone who protected him for a long time and the next he was shocked and awed to find himself in a surprisingly gentle hug. He shook. When the large arms – probably strong enough to lift a car – held him close and gently.

He hugged back as much as he could. His eyes burned and it took him a few moments to realize the sounds he was making were sobs.

“Yer just a kid. I’ll help, okay?”

He nodded. He couldn’t say much else. Plagg was purring and he was in a warm hug and his face was wet and his lungs hurt and-

_You’re a hero!_

No. A hero is someone that hugs a kid that isn’t his own because he really needed it. Someone that takes away the pain and suffering, if just for a moment. Someone that decides to help when they don’t have to.

Adrien sobbed. And he _finally_ felt as though he could breathe.


End file.
